Marriage Advice

It has been said, "We choose for marriage to be an expression of the grandest and highest love of which humans are capable." Then we proceed to construct a marriage institution and a marriage experience which produces exactly the opposite of that--virtually the lowest form of love of which humans are capable. A love that possesses rather than releases. A love that limits rather than expands. A love that owns rather than disowns. A love that makes virtually everything around it smaller rather than making everything around it larger.
 
We've created an experience of marriage that has nothing to do with love in far too many instances. We've created a holder, a shell, some kind of encasement. And that's what we want marriage to be. We want it to be an encasement that holds everything exactly where it was the moment we said, "I love you," and that holds us all exactly where we were in that first moment. But people and events move around. They change.  Life is an evolution. And so marriage, as we have constructed it, works against the very process of life itself, because it provides very little breathing room in the way many societies and religions and family traditions have constructed it.
 
And so what we have to do is reconstruct marriage, if we're going to have marriage at all, in a way that says: "I do not limit you. A marriage that says, "I recognize ideas will change, tastes will change, desires will change."
 
~ Neale Donald Walsch